The Fab Five

     I am consistently and constantly blessed by the sisters-in-Christ I'm so lucky to call my best friends.
     Logan, Selina, Samantha and Olivia have been some of my closest friends since my journey with God began and these past few months have been milestones on our journey together. The "Fab Five," is not only the name of our newest album release (kidding), but what we refer to ourselves when listing all of our names becomes too tedious to further conversation. Not only because Fabulous is one of the few words that truly encapsulate all of our personalities, but mostly because it's the first 4th grade alliteration that came to our mind when labeling the group of us became, well, necessary. Kind of like the Pink Ladies from Grease, but with much less hair spray and cigarettes.
     Our friendship started at the church, but wasn't always Christ-centered. We all had our stories and personally, I thought I would never be able to tell them my whole story, because then I'd be the weakest link, I would be less of Christian whom Christ wasted His grace on and they had no struggles. We had all been told we were flawless in God's eyes, but none of us really believed it. If we did, we'd have been willing to share that with each other. We'd be willing to share our "salads."
     I sat there one night and said to them, "I want to be able to tell Logan if I'm eating too much salad. And I want Logan to be able to call me and say, 'hey, Alyssa, you're eating too much salad, so stop because that's sinful.'" It turned out we were all craving that accountability. From that talk and because of it, I know the inward parts of those girls. I know their deepest struggles, I know their greatest redemptions and  I know there are girls in every corner of Missouri, even over the world, praying for me and fighting for me.
     With Selina in the Dominican Republic studying abroad, Samantha an RA at her school, Olivia getting in to her music and Logan building relationships back home, it should be harder to communicate with one another, and it is at times, but I've talked to these girls more in the past month this semester than all year last year. I wouldn't say our conversations are longer, but now they have a purpose driven behind them.
     Our conversations are God-focused because we are God-focused. And the accountability that we offer to each other is there because each of us genuinely have that love of Christ for each of them. I want to see them succeed.
     I've fallen on my face, I've eaten dirt from the shoes of my sins, but when I was on the ground I had four girls next to me planted firm who were pulling me up. I cannot stress how important accountability is, because I know if it weren't for these girls I wouldn't be here.
     We've had seasons in our life of planting and growing. I know if it weren't for the women in our life who walked before us, we wouldn't be where we are. If it weren't for Lauren Sterling, Amy V, Crystal Kratzer, Meagan Truax and so many other influential women in our lives who kept us accountable and poured into us, who made disciples out of us, we wouldn't be in the season of life that we are in.
     I share this with you as encouragement, to share with you this awesome season of harvest we five are in right now. And as a reminder that it didn't happen over night, we labored, we labored hard but God delivers, He keeps His promises and provides. But in this race we are running, we need to find those running partners, those coaches who desire our new creation as much as God does.

One Love.

Hebrews 3:13
     But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called 'Today,' so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

Hebrews 12:1-2
     Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Galatians 6:9
     Do not become weary when doing good, for at a proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up.

 

 

 

 

 

If Grace is an Ocean

     I feel like I talk about grace a lot, but I think that's because it's one of God's aspects I don't fully understand.
      This weekend was rough. It all unraveled last night, so let me give you the timeline of this so you can even more clearly see the promises of faith.
•6:30 went on a drive with my friend and sister in Christ and I opened up to her about what poor excuse I am of a disciple of Christ. 
•7:00 came back home to sulk in my misery, while I allowed the enemy feed me lies. 
•7:15 sat down with my computer and wrote four stanzas that came from my hurt, my purpose and my faith
•7:34 sent Olivia an email of those stanzas, a debrief of where they came from and a hope that it was useful material for her to put to music and make a song of. 
•7:36 continued to sulk in my misery, now debriefing to a roommate of my worthless existence. 
•8:00 God started moving
     My 8:00 time slot was mostly flooded with my roommate talking me into God's grace for the next hour or so. As I read to her some of my spoken word poetry and lyrics I had sent Olivia, she told me that's how God uses me, but even while I was still reluctant, I knew she was speaking some truth. 
•9:17 a friend came over to hang out.
•9:29 Olivia called me. "Hey, I have the layout the way I want it. Let me play you what I've gotten so far."
     For the next 40 minutes Olivia and I were able to talk about God's molding in our lives. How we've changed because of Him and how we can lift one another up in prayer and praise.
•10:08 came back to the living room and read some of my spoken word to our guest who had come over. I can't even tell you why I did it, but I could see in her eyes it's exactly what I was supposed to be doing. He was reminding me that He wants me, that He fought for me.
      Every single day, God drenches me with His grace and every single day I fail him. I'm a sinful, jacked up, useless excuse of a human being, but that's the thing. God uses that, He wants that. He refines us by His fire, He molds is into a new creation and because of His grace even sinful, jacked up, useless excuses like me can be used for everlasting work!
      I still don't fully understand God's grace and know that I never truly will. I just know I can't be so focused about what the devil is doing to manipulate me than what God's doing to get my attention. For we are not those who shrink back and are destroyed. God wants us as we are right now. 

Free At Last

     In honor of the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech I decided to tune in and listen to it. I've heard it before, but in every season of life everything I've once heard speaks to me in a new and different way.
     This past summer I went home, when I had friends all across the US and the world acting on God's will for their life. Some were more local working at camps in Missouri, a couple were in Florida doing a discipleship program and a few were international spreading God's word and His love. I was kind of bummed, because I wanted to be doing something cool like that for God's Kingdom, but then I realized that I was sent back to Blue Springs, Missouri to do something cool for God's Kingdom. I wasn't sent home to be lazy or take a break, so my summer was surrounded by seeking God's desire for me and His plan for my life.
     One of my favorite things about MLK is that he was first and foremost a man of God. Even Wikipedia--which is a reputable source, I don't care who says otherwise--lists MLK as an American clergyman first. His desire for freedom and justice was God's will on his heart. King wasn't doing it out of selfish ambition, but he was living out God's plan for his life. He was the mouthpiece of the Body, and what people tend to forget is that he had a mentor. He had someone pour into him, who, for the most part, remains nameless. Most people couldn't name any one of the men who mentored and discipled King.
     Not everyone's role is the main stage, like MLK's was, but we all have one. No matter where we are in our walk, God has a desire for us to do something huge and change the world. We're all just one domino and if we don't "fall" into God's will the dominoes after us won't be moved.
     The entire time I was watching MLK's speech, all I could think about was how proud God must've been to see one of His creations follow His will for him. And how, if it wasn't for MLK's obedience my domino wouldn't have been knocked over by watching the speech, thus this blog wouldn't have been written! Ah, I could go on and on about the dominoes King was apart of because of his obedience to the Father, but that's why. It's because he stepped up and stepped out of himself and allowed God to use him in whatever way God needed him. And Thank God Almighty we are all free to do the same.
    

Why should I become a Christian

     Today, I caught myself stuck in some writers block, writing a poem themed "burn the ships" and when I was on the last stanza, I realized how much it sucked. I knew that when we became Christians we were called to die to ourselves, but why? "Why should I become a Christian." Again, stuck in writer's block, I did something I'm not proud: I searched Google for the answer.
     Like all 21st century dilemmas, I went to the internet for the answer; but unfortunately, like most answers found on the internet, there is no one, clear answer. So, instead of looking outside of myself for the answer, I decided to start from scratch and focus on our place in Christianity, rather than God's purpose.
     When I became a believer, I did it for my own sake. I didn't want to burn in Hell. I didn't want to die an unsure death and have the bitter unknown take me in as its own. I wasn't fleeing from my sin, I didn't do it because I hated sin, I did it because I loved myself.
     Before I became a follower of Christ--and even now at times--a lot of my decisions were driven by how it would benefit me. I knew that if I said I believed in this God guy and didn't, like, kill anybody I'd have a ticket to Heaven. What I didn't know at that time was Heaven wasn't a buffet line of angel food cake and free puppies running around. Heaven is the meeting place with the creator of the world, a place where you're so in awe of whom you're in the presence of, you have no other option but to drop to your knees and worship Him. What I didn't know some 11 years ago when I asked Jesus into my heart, was Heaven wasn't a place we were waiting for, Heaven on earth started that day. God was ready to use me right then.
     You should see my mom when we get her some stereotypical mom stuff, like a new dishwasher or cooking pan, vacuum. She's so excited, because she finally got what she needed to complete a job.
She could wash the dishes by hand, but that dishwasher was created to steam, clean and gleam. My mother's excitement doesn't even compare to God's excitement when He's finally able to use us the way He created us. It's at that point I know longer want to do things for my own glory, but for God's.
     If the world's timeline was portrayed as a movie, most of us would just be a passing face in the background or a hand in the corner of the screen. Our time here on earth is so miniscule compared to the big book timeline of earth. A world created for God and His glory. I'm no longer asking for a leading role, I can't handle a leading role. If I were to step in front of the camera, I'd be cheating God of His glory. It's not about me.
     The answer to Christianity conversion was answered by a six step reasoning, but when it comes down to it, you can't tell someone why. You have to show them. You have to live in obedience, discipline and love in Christ. Everything else should fall into God's story as you go.

Jamaica and Wedding Bells

     This past week, I spent my time in Jamaica on a missions trip. I came in with these expectations of what I thought my week would look like, but as usual, God planned on showing me something completely different.
     To everyone who doesn't already know, I don't exactly love children. Shocking, I'm sure, but the fact of the matter is, I'm not the #1 Babysitter. I've been told time and time again that "I'll never find a man if I keep doing (insert gross habit, immature humor, indepence, etc. here)." If God made me into this person, why would He want me to change to be with someone I've been told He's handpicked for me? I've made my intentions very clear about my future; my lack on interest in children and even marriage seem to surprise most women, but like Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7, you don't have to get married. In fact, singleness is a gift and those who are single are able to do so much more for God, because they have the time to do so. Don't get me wrong, I have my selfish reasons to remain single; I'd prefer a corner office, loft in the city and vacation to Europe.
     This past week, I was ready for God to show me I've been lazy or something, how to fix it and in the end, I'd be closer to Him because of it. Instead, while I built houses alongside Jamaicans, for whatever reason, God kept bringing children to mind. Every night, we had courtyard and Jamaicans were invited to come to the house and hang out with us. I met all kinds of people, but kept my focus on the adult women. The next day on the jobsite, God brought up my own nephews. I thought, God forbid, if anything were to ever happen to my brother or sister, I would be willing to help out with my nephews. Not single-handedly raise them, but I'd allow them come over to my place for an hour or so on Saturdays. I shared this with the group the next morning before we went out to our serving opportunities and I got some funny looks, I know it doesn't sound like much, but that's a step for me.
     That day on the job, there was a little girl at the house I was working at. Her name was Gabi and she was about 7-years-old. She helped me shovel cement, dig marl and smooth the walls--or at least she tried. In all honesty, she was in the way. She kept throwing the cement in the wrong piles, was mixing up sifted marl with the unsifted and dented a few of the walls. I knew right at that moment I spoke too soon, that's it, only a half hour on Mondays for the nephews. I wasn't exactly nice to her, either, but for whatever reason, she liked me. She wouldn't leave me alone, always wanting to hold my hand and hugging me. Eventually I learned how to deal with it and I just talked to her like I would talk to an adult. She wasn't so bad, she just didn't know what she was doing, and I wasn't telling her to do otherwise. Yet, still, I made it very apparent I don't want kids, and told more people than I ever had I don't ever want to get married, usually out of context, too. I was trying to avoid whatever it was God was trying to tell me.
     If you were to ask me, I'd tell you I gave the reins to God years ago. I've become content with the hand I've been dealt, but one thing God showed me this week is that I've misinterpreted some of the things He's promised me. That just because I want a corner office and peace of mind forever, just because that isn't conventional doesn't mean that's what He wants for me. I know the waiting list for those things are much shorter for young Christiain women, but that doesn't mean it's in my future, who knows, maybe it is. But as of now, I'm no longer preparing my heart for the life I had planned out, but preparing for today, because that's all that's promised to me.

To the Class of 2013

     In honor of graduation today, I decided I'd pass on the little knowledge I have to the most recent high school graduates. I was in that same spot just a year ago and as I look at where I've come from since graduation, it's by God's grace that I'm here where I stand today.
     I remember senior recognition at church last year. Scott Sterling asked us senior girls to be on a panel and talk about our years through high school and how God has shaped our lives through the past four years, preparing us for the next four. I wasn't where I needed to be with God at that time, but I figured I could get up there on stage and say some godly things without anybody realizing I was in a real crummy spot in my walk. When it came to be my turn, I was asked what verse had carried me through high school. I knew the answer immediately, it's a verse I've accidently memorized from just spending so much time with it in high school. It was from TPX weekend in 8th grade 1 Corinthians 9:24-27. Midway through the verse I, Alyssa Hicks, started crying. I never cry--like, never. But the words I was saying weren't true. I hadn't been running the race, I hadn't been beating my body. I was running like a man running aimlessly and if it was up to man, I definitely would've been disqualified for the Prize. I got in front of church that Sunday, confident in the flesh to have just enough Jesus points left in me to fake the spot I was in. That was a wakeup call.
     That summer, I made sure to make my body my slave. Nothing that I was chasing after was everlasting, and that was empty; not just unfulfilling, but empty. God had surrounded me around four great sisters-in-Christ during high school that were great at loving, learning and teaching. That summer I fled from the dirt that covered me and bathed in Christ's grace. I knew I stood for God and I didn't want that line to get blurry once I headed off to school. All summer long I prayed for a roommate that I could help, but also wouldn't hinder me, I prayed for community in college and believers who were chasing after the same things as I. I prayed that I would be able to keep the friendships I had at home and be a light to those new relationships in Springfield.
     Once August came around and I moved down to Missouri State, I had a clear plan of what I was going to do. I was going to stand for God and there was going to be no question about it. I was not going to be easy to sway or curious of what sin could be brought out in this new sense of freedom--I had already tasted the sweetest freedom--and I was going to be a disciple, an ambassador for God.
     This past year, God brought some great believers in my life. Followers of Christ that were all in different spots in their walk and a blessing in mine because of it. I was able to stand for God in the classroom, library, dining hall, on my floor. I stepped out of my comfort zone time and time again because He asked me to. I was thrown in the middle of the road by God to do some things, even though I lacked the courage to do so on my own at times.
     They say college is the place you grow up. You don't have anyone there telling you to clean your room, go to bed or go to church. You choose your path. I can give you that cheesy Abe Lincoln-esque quote about, "if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything," and I will, because it's true! If you go to college wanting to be sort of a Christian, you'll leave college more lost than you came. If you fail to plan...
     College can be scary, but it's also liberating. God showed me some of my greatest gifts this past year and chiseled away parts of my heart that didn't reflect His will for my life. The only advice I have is love God, everything else will fall into place.

God lives in Springfield, too

     This year, God has showed me so many different facets of Him. He never fails to impress me with the things He has in store for me, from posting my testimony to YouTube to going to Jamaica this summer, I have seen God push me for my own good so many times. But with all the things going on back at Gateway Church, I hated searching for a church down here in Springfield, because I felt like I was missing out on all the miracles happening back home. God has done so many huge things through Gateway as a whole, as well as the individuals who make up the church. I've been blessed to see coaches take our high school football team on mission trips, friends accept new siblings or sons and daughters into their family, and prisoners accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. And Joey, being the shepherd he is, brought more strength to our church this past year than was ever expected of him. Part of the reason it's been so hard to find a church is because of the high expectations I had. Gateway does things so Christ-centered that I had little faith any other church would even come close to it.
     All year, my friends and I have been church hopping. It's been quite a stressful and tiring job, but through it, I have been able to see the girls that have walked with me through this journey grow alongside me. Maybe I wasn't at Gateway, but I have a community of people who genuinely care for everlasting life and are chasing after the same things as me. God has allowed me to step out on my own and open my mind to the family in Christ I have outside of Blue Springs. I haven't completely gotten over missing out on all the great things going on at Gateway, but I think I've finally found a church down here in Springfield. It wouldn't have been able to be done if it wasn't for the examples I was given back home.
     As the year comes to a close, I find myself not wanting to come home. I've made so many friends down here and home means work, and I don't want to do that either. I'm so excited to see what God has in store for me next year that He's already started. I serve a God who is bigger than Blue Springs, Missouri; who is bigger than Springfield, Missouri. I serve a God who calls people out of darkness and comforts those in need, who brings justice and saves. I serve the God who is.