Today, I caught myself stuck in some writers block, writing a poem themed "burn the ships" and when I was on the last stanza, I realized how much it sucked. I knew that when we became Christians we were called to die to ourselves, but why? "Why should I become a Christian." Again, stuck in writer's block, I did something I'm not proud: I searched Google for the answer.
Like all 21st century dilemmas, I went to the internet for the answer; but unfortunately, like most answers found on the internet, there is no one, clear answer. So, instead of looking outside of myself for the answer, I decided to start from scratch and focus on our place in Christianity, rather than God's purpose.
When I became a believer, I did it for my own sake. I didn't want to burn in Hell. I didn't want to die an unsure death and have the bitter unknown take me in as its own. I wasn't fleeing from my sin, I didn't do it because I hated sin, I did it because I loved myself.
Before I became a follower of Christ--and even now at times--a lot of my decisions were driven by how it would benefit me. I knew that if I said I believed in this God guy and didn't, like, kill anybody I'd have a ticket to Heaven. What I didn't know at that time was Heaven wasn't a buffet line of angel food cake and free puppies running around. Heaven is the meeting place with the creator of the world, a place where you're so in awe of whom you're in the presence of, you have no other option but to drop to your knees and worship Him. What I didn't know some 11 years ago when I asked Jesus into my heart, was Heaven wasn't a place we were waiting for, Heaven on earth started that day. God was ready to use me right then.
You should see my mom when we get her some stereotypical mom stuff, like a new dishwasher or cooking pan, vacuum. She's so excited, because she finally got what she needed to complete a job.
She could wash the dishes by hand, but that dishwasher was created to steam, clean and gleam. My mother's excitement doesn't even compare to God's excitement when He's finally able to use us the way He created us. It's at that point I know longer want to do things for my own glory, but for God's.
If the world's timeline was portrayed as a movie, most of us would just be a passing face in the background or a hand in the corner of the screen. Our time here on earth is so miniscule compared to the big book timeline of earth. A world created for God and His glory. I'm no longer asking for a leading role, I can't handle a leading role. If I were to step in front of the camera, I'd be cheating God of His glory. It's not about me.
The answer to Christianity conversion was answered by a six step reasoning, but when it comes down to it, you can't tell someone why. You have to show them. You have to live in obedience, discipline and love in Christ. Everything else should fall into God's story as you go.
