facing the inevitable

Senior year is in a matter of days and these long, hot summer hours have given me plenty of time to resonate on who I am, the good and the bad, and I've realized there are some parts of me I could do without and other things I want to be filled with. Some things need to change, I just don't know if I'm ready for it.
Change is inevitable. I've learned that, but what I've recently realized is that most of the change we face isn't around us, yet in us. We're the ones that change, and yeah, I guess those around us, but that's not the change we get frustrated with.
The biggest yield to change is fear. Fear of what will happen, what others will think, who won't be for it, but mostly what others will say, to your face or behind your back, they'll talk.
Especially being a girl I'm constantly worried about what others are going to say about me. I know "the only opinion I should worry about is God's..." and His is important to me, too but it's so much easier to care about someone right infront of you.
But I have a big year ahead, a lot of influence and a lot of things planned. I may be standing alone at the end of these nine months, I may be the only one who had gone astray, or we may all pull through and do great things in God's name. I don't want to be the wasted generation, the time is near and I can't waste what's left. So if you're reading this feel free to keep me accountable, feel free to ask what God's up to, and kick me in the butt when I need it. Because I'm no longer craving man's approval-I don't have that kind of time-the only approval I'm worried about is what God wants from me. So I come in to this year with arms wide open and ears eager to hear. Show me where I need to be.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

I've been back from camp for about 48 hours and I've already fallen short of God's glory numerous times. The thing that spoke the loudest to me while at Table Rock was when Meagan said athletes go to camp to gain strength and endurance for the competition in front of them for the rest of the season. The same reason we go to church camp, to gain strength and endurance for the rest of the race we have to run. I learned a lot, but I also came back with, possibly, more questions than answers about my walk. I understand why I went to camp, but I don't understand where I go now that I'm back. I want to start doing big things this year, and I can't tell you honestly what's holding me back from doing any of those things. I still have to strive harder.
Athletes gain their strength throughout the season, they work hard during camps but the real work comes out on game day. Every day is another battle fought for our life as a Christ follower. I don't want to fall behind, because if we claim to be a Christian the enemy is going to be trying that much harder to make us fall. Camp was a wonderful experience but that practice comes into play now that we're back. "So I do not run like a man running aimlessly, I do not fight like a man beating the air. No I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached I, myself, will not be disqualified for the prize."