A feeling of inadequacy is real in the Christia--in life. The feeling is real and can be related to almost, if not every experience in life. Our culture is constantly telling us that we have to better ourselves before we can get what we want, or sometimes even what we need.
When it comes to Christianity, I hear so many people tell me that they'll become a Christian later when it's on their time, when they're done with high school or college or when they're married with kids. Then they'll fully surrender their lives to God, but right now, it's just too much work for them to do. They've got to clean themselves up before the God of the Universe will even consider accepting them.
I hear that and I think of saints like Doug Benjamin, who was far from cleaned up when he met God. Who was fleeing his responsibilities, fighting drug addiction and trying to figure out what it meant to be a father after being absent in his children's lives for many years. I think of Doug now, who welcomed Christ into his life during that mess, who has been saved by grace and raised up with Christ. Doug uses his God-given gifts to invest in the lives of men in prison and coming out of prison and sacrificially gives his time and resources to others, because he understands they don't belong to him anyways. His humility overflows into the lives of those men and he's been an example to the coming ages of the immeasurable riches of God's grace.
I think of my friend Hannah, who knew God, but never truly experienced Him. I think of how scary it was for her our freshman year of college. She knew God with her head, but it wasn't revealed to her heart, so she said all the right answers, but wondered why she was still wondering. I see Hannah now, who is a daughter of the Most High King, who has been justified by not only Christ's death but His resurrection. I see Hannah, who is still a mess like the rest of us, that has been made righteous by her faith, as she continuously doesn't let her circumstances rob God of His adoration.
When I surrendered to God, I was running from His calling. I knew what He expected of me, but I tried to prove to Him and everyone around me that he dialed the wrong number, I wasn't the one He was looking for. I remember wondering who could this God be who could take something of my condition and make it into anything useful.
That was when I stopped dwelling on the cross, and stared into the tomb. I hear that and I think of saints like Doug Benjamin, who was far from cleaned up when he met God. Who was fleeing his responsibilities, fighting drug addiction and trying to figure out what it meant to be a father after being absent in his children's lives for many years. I think of Doug now, who welcomed Christ into his life during that mess, who has been saved by grace and raised up with Christ. Doug uses his God-given gifts to invest in the lives of men in prison and coming out of prison and sacrificially gives his time and resources to others, because he understands they don't belong to him anyways. His humility overflows into the lives of those men and he's been an example to the coming ages of the immeasurable riches of God's grace.
I think of my friend Hannah, who knew God, but never truly experienced Him. I think of how scary it was for her our freshman year of college. She knew God with her head, but it wasn't revealed to her heart, so she said all the right answers, but wondered why she was still wondering. I see Hannah now, who is a daughter of the Most High King, who has been justified by not only Christ's death but His resurrection. I see Hannah, who is still a mess like the rest of us, that has been made righteous by her faith, as she continuously doesn't let her circumstances rob God of His adoration.
When I surrendered to God, I was running from His calling. I knew what He expected of me, but I tried to prove to Him and everyone around me that he dialed the wrong number, I wasn't the one He was looking for. I remember wondering who could this God be who could take something of my condition and make it into anything useful.
Maybe you need to quit looking at the cross. Yes, your sins were so suffocating that they put the Son of God on a cross and killed him, but He didn't stay there. Your sins were slain. Jesus Christ died, but He rose again and Vince-Carter-dunked on every single sin that you've committed and will ever commit. He conquered them all. He lives so now you can live. You don't have to be, because He is, He was, and He will always be. Leave your sin on that cross and step inside that tomb. Step inside His mercy, walk in the midst of His grace and be made righteous by your faith because you have been set free. Admit that you need a cleaning crew, because it is not by our own doing, but it is a gift from God and recognize that your inadequacies are just lies that are keeping you from living the in the immeasurable riches of His grace by which you have been saved.
Because you are enough. You have always been enough.
