Monday, April 28, 2014

Proverbs 31 is for dudes, too.

     This semester, I've been bombarded with marriage stuff. Every sermon, bible study, and quiet time seems to have something to do with submission, but instead of speaking my not-so-gracious opinion, I figured God has something to tell me so I better listen up.
     In 6 weeks, I'll be in a foreign country with only 3 familiar faces for the next 6 weeks. From the very start of this adventure, God made it very clear to me that I was going to have little say in any big plans. I know what a lot of you are thinking, what a breeze! I've always done so well with keeping my mouth shut and my thoughts to myself. Although I do such a good job of wearing that façade, it is unbelievably hard for me to shut up and let other people do things their way. Since we decided on Peru in November, I've had to submit and trust these girls that what God told them was the right thing. Any time I came to God with concerns, it was almost as if He had His receptionist forward me to Logan, Samantha or Courtney.
     I have the hugest struggle with submission and I always figured it was God's way of telling me I'm just not cut out for marriage. That was just who I was and God was going to work around my imperfections to sanctify me in other ways. This is such faulty theology, because God doesn't desire what I've settled for, He wants what is absolutely best for me and that's not staying cynically cold-hearted about everything, that's refining me by His fire and perfecting me through His grace and love.
     While learning how to submit to The Lord and preparing myself for future submission, of course Proverbs 31 has crossed my path. I used to hate Proverbs 31, make fun of it even. Who cares what kind of woman I'm supposed to be, it's too mainstream anyways and I don't want to live the Christian version of Stepford Wives and just be like every other submissive woman. Guys, I'm not kidding when I say God saved me from my cynical, cold-heart; I was a real jerk, still kind of am, just ask anyone who really likes me.
     Anyways, the more that I read Proverbs 31, the more I realize that this isn't the woman God's calling me to be in the future, it's the like of what God has set aside for me right now.
     For women, Proverbs 31 isn't a checklist, it's the characteristics that are uncompromisingly inheritable from spending time with Him. For men, I think it's a great reminder of what kind of women they should be pursuing. She dresses herself in strength (Proverbs 31:17), she opens her hand to the poor (Proverbs 31:20), she laughs at the time to come (Proverbs 31:26), she fears The Lord (Proverbs 31:30). With all that society throws at us, telling us what the perfect women is, it's important for all of God's children to hide in their heart the truths of what beautiful really is.

Friday, April 11, 2014

My sins killed Jesus.

     With the grass finally green again, shorts permissible and the scent of dogwood trees contorting everyone's face, it's safe to say spring is here. Spring brings with it a lot of happiness, a lot of hope. In my theatre class we are learning about how productions may use the season to reflect the mood of the play or musical. Winter: harsh and bitter, autumn: dying or decay, summer: life and warmth, and spring: revival and new life. In spring, we have the flowers blossom, the sun come out, the breeze swell in. With spring, we see the physicality of resurrection, with spring, we feel Easter.
     The other night, I was addressed with the question, do I follow Jesus because it's good or because it's true. I've never thought of it that way. I mean, of course I believe what Jesus taught and I put my faith in that truth, but how often do I respond when faced with the "why Jesus" do I answer, "because it's true."
     I've recognized the fact that Jesus lived. I've read the gospels and along with the twelve I've scratched my head in confusion when He compared us to mustard seeds or whatever. I've marveled with the wise men over the awaited Messiah and bowed down at His miraculous birth. I've tried to experience a fraction of His entire life purpose, dying on the cross for my sins, and even though my heart can't hold that much pain, I'm given a glimpse of the sacrifice Jesus made on my behalf.
     On my own, I'm hopeless. I'm sinful and in need of rescuing. And Jesus saves and He loved me so much to pay for all of it by giving up His own life in replace of mine. The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23), so somebody had to die, but instead of me, Jesus took my place.
     I think too often, I stop there. I recognize Jesus' birth and life and death and just sit in that. I stop and remember that my sins, the bearing of all of our sins, killed Jesus. His entire life purpose was to become obedient to death on a cross as the final sacrifice for our sins and we killed Him. But if Jesus died and that was it, the bible would end there. If Jesus died for our sins and stayed dead, that would've been a nice gesture, but this Messiah guy would've been just another lamb.
     Another aspect I was introduced to the other day was the disciples. When Jesus was busy being dead for those 3 days, what were they thinking? The awaited Messiah was killed by human hands. I think too often we live in our dead sins, feeling like the disciples did those 3 days. The price was paid, it needed to be paid, but what now? That's all true and stuff, but if Jesus died and stayed dead, it sounds to me like sin had won.
     But Jesus didn't stay dead. Jesus rose up 3 days after. My sins killed Jesus, but His raising from the dead means that I don't have to stay dead in my sins either, Jesus conquered them. I will boast in the cross, but even more I will boast in His resurrection. I follow Jesus because He lives and that's true. Death has no dominion over me, I am free and He is truth.