I pray that You may give me the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that I may know You better. I pray that the eyes of my heart may be enlightened in order that I may know the hope to which You have called me, the riches of Your glorious inheritance in Your holy people, and Your incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength You exerted when You raised Christ from the dead and seated him at Your right hand in the heavenly realms, -Ephesians 1:17-20 AHV [Alyssa Hicks Version]
I was apart of the 4 unaccompanied #GatewayGirlsToPeru who caught a plane because God told us to. I've been a believer long enough to know I should move when He tells me to, but I'd be lying if I told I wasn't sitting on Logan's front steps less than 48 hours of our departure asking her if we should really do this with slim to none plans of what the next 6 weeks of our lives were going to look like.
I doubt all the time, I'm a natural pessimist, but I'm so thankful for God's constant pursuit of me, even when I'm running from His goodness. I have to be honest about my disobedience, because when I lie to myself, it gives the enemy room for opinion. For months preparing for Peru, I prayed those verses above over myself. For a spirit of wisdom and revelation; for the eyes of my heart to be enlightened to the hope in which I have been called; and for the incomparably, immeasurable, incredible greatness of God's power that has been given to us who believe. I prayed big, bold things and God did immeasurably more than I could've asked or ever imagined.
So we went to Peru. The moment I got in the van of our new family and looked out of the window I thought, "You know, I could come back here. Maybe study here the fall of my senior year--" My thought was interrupted by the Lord saying, "No, you're coming back here in January." Immediately, I let the rest of His message to go to voicemail with no intention of calling Him back, hoping God called the wrong sheep.
Day 3 in Lima, my friend Courtney and I were making breakfast and she turned to me and said, "I feel like I'm supposed to come back here in January and I feel like you're supposed to come with."
I threw down the dishes I was washing, turned around irritably and asked, "Who told you that?"
"God did."
Later that day, we met up with our friend and translator from our first trip to Lima in 2011. We passed a university and God said, "This is the university you are going to go to." I put my headphones in and ran to the nearest TGI Friday's to eat American food and watch the World Cup.
The next day we met with this church. This church is what enlightened the eyes of my heart. God said that this is the church, this is the hope to which I have been called to and I started opening up to the idea. That night, I told the girls what God had been revealing to me and asked if they would pray fervently about God's plan A for me.
As we left Lima for Pacasmayo, Peru; I figured my time out of Lima would be good for my heart, removed from the city limits, to talk to God about all this. At least once a day, I would ask Samantha if she had talked to God on my behalf about this whole January thing. Not that I wanted God to show me right then, but that what I heard from God then in June, was something He would tell me again in October, when I'm equally removed from both experiences. "Yes, Alyssa. Yes, I'm praying."
On our last day in Pacasmayo, we were leaving to go back to Lima and we four were sitting in a grocery store and I asked again: "Have you guys been praying for me?!" My hair was blown back by their unison of "YES, ALYSSA."
I sat in thought and said boldly, "Okay. If God wants me to go to Peru in January, let's ask Him for a sign. If it is raining when we land in Lima, God's saying yes. Not misting, but raining. Real rain." God's speaks to me a lot through the rain and the part of Lima we were in, it mists a lot, but real rain hardly ever comes, so if God wanted me back there, I was asking Him to show off.
I get off the plane and we grab our bags, and just as we find our ride, I notice the night sky. It's pouring. My friend looked at me and said, "You asked God for a sign and He gave it to you. You can ask Him for more and He will provide, but you know you're answer, now you pray for preparation."
She was right. In the Houston airport, I emailed my advisor and told her my plans of studying abroad and changing my major because God said January. I got to school in August and God still said January. I applied for abroad programs in Peru because God said January. Peru is on the other side of the equator, so their seasons are different as well as their school year. Their spring semester doesn't start until March, but God still said January.
So here it was, finally October when I asked God to give me wisdom and revelation, but all He was giving me was January. I started making my own plans for January and February, thinking I could technically stay in the states, invest in what God is doing in Springfield, but in my mind I was reminded that He said January.
I came home for a cardiologist appointment and things did not go as I'd have liked. I have neurocardiogenic syncope and tachy-brady syndrome, but it has been manageable up to this point. When I told my doctor what's been going on, he wasn't stoaked about my latest symptoms. He strapped an MCOT on me and scheduled an appointment to meet back with him in a month. Definitely a roadblock to trying to leave the country for 8 months. This month has been phone calls from doctors, second opinions, and anxiety over what little information that doctors have been able to give me. This definitely made my family more comfortable with going closer to March, if going at all, but God said January, yet I still had no idea why.
"I have to remain in Him with no chance of going back
I have to burn my ships and face the facts
That I wasn't destined for average
I was chose for something great
I can't let fear or comfort cripple me from my fate"
But why January? What will I do for the two months before classes start? Last weekend, I texted Courtney about Peru and when we should go, she said still said January, because God's word is never wavering. Our friend is in the process of adopting two girls from the orphanage we lived at in Pacasmayo and she will have to go alone because the dates to pick them up were pushed back. To January. Immediately upon hearing this, I knew she was the reason God said January back on June 10. Conveniently, I was in Kansas City that weekend and called my parents to meet me downtown to discuss what this all looks like. My parents have been hesitant with all this. They want me to seek God's will, but don't want to be bad parents and send their youngest daughter with a weak heart all the way to a third-world country.
I sat in the backseat of their car and I said everything. I said January because God said January, I said I loved them and Galatians 6, but I am a bond servant to the Lord, I have to obey Him. My dad avoided eye contact and my mom said she's been praying about this, she's recruited all of the woman in her bible study to pray about this, she turned around and said to me, "Some of the women in my bible study have told me that your heart belongs to Peru right now. I know you're going in January."
People always tell me that they never hear from God so clearly, but my only response is this clarity is the most effective way God has been able to get through to me. We've tried other ways and I'm really good at talking my way out of them. Praying Ephesians 1:17-20 was a game-changer, but it has also been nothing shy of terrifying.
I threw down the dishes I was washing, turned around irritably and asked, "Who told you that?"
"God did."
Later that day, we met up with our friend and translator from our first trip to Lima in 2011. We passed a university and God said, "This is the university you are going to go to." I put my headphones in and ran to the nearest TGI Friday's to eat American food and watch the World Cup.
The next day we met with this church. This church is what enlightened the eyes of my heart. God said that this is the church, this is the hope to which I have been called to and I started opening up to the idea. That night, I told the girls what God had been revealing to me and asked if they would pray fervently about God's plan A for me.
As we left Lima for Pacasmayo, Peru; I figured my time out of Lima would be good for my heart, removed from the city limits, to talk to God about all this. At least once a day, I would ask Samantha if she had talked to God on my behalf about this whole January thing. Not that I wanted God to show me right then, but that what I heard from God then in June, was something He would tell me again in October, when I'm equally removed from both experiences. "Yes, Alyssa. Yes, I'm praying."
On our last day in Pacasmayo, we were leaving to go back to Lima and we four were sitting in a grocery store and I asked again: "Have you guys been praying for me?!" My hair was blown back by their unison of "YES, ALYSSA."
I sat in thought and said boldly, "Okay. If God wants me to go to Peru in January, let's ask Him for a sign. If it is raining when we land in Lima, God's saying yes. Not misting, but raining. Real rain." God's speaks to me a lot through the rain and the part of Lima we were in, it mists a lot, but real rain hardly ever comes, so if God wanted me back there, I was asking Him to show off.
"My arms open
wide and my face to the sky
I look up at
the water that will inevitably fall on me
And wait for
those droplets that allow me to blossom where I’ve been planted"I get off the plane and we grab our bags, and just as we find our ride, I notice the night sky. It's pouring. My friend looked at me and said, "You asked God for a sign and He gave it to you. You can ask Him for more and He will provide, but you know you're answer, now you pray for preparation."
She was right. In the Houston airport, I emailed my advisor and told her my plans of studying abroad and changing my major because God said January. I got to school in August and God still said January. I applied for abroad programs in Peru because God said January. Peru is on the other side of the equator, so their seasons are different as well as their school year. Their spring semester doesn't start until March, but God still said January.
So here it was, finally October when I asked God to give me wisdom and revelation, but all He was giving me was January. I started making my own plans for January and February, thinking I could technically stay in the states, invest in what God is doing in Springfield, but in my mind I was reminded that He said January.
I came home for a cardiologist appointment and things did not go as I'd have liked. I have neurocardiogenic syncope and tachy-brady syndrome, but it has been manageable up to this point. When I told my doctor what's been going on, he wasn't stoaked about my latest symptoms. He strapped an MCOT on me and scheduled an appointment to meet back with him in a month. Definitely a roadblock to trying to leave the country for 8 months. This month has been phone calls from doctors, second opinions, and anxiety over what little information that doctors have been able to give me. This definitely made my family more comfortable with going closer to March, if going at all, but God said January, yet I still had no idea why.
"I have to remain in Him with no chance of going back
I have to burn my ships and face the facts
That I wasn't destined for average
I was chose for something great
I can't let fear or comfort cripple me from my fate"
But why January? What will I do for the two months before classes start? Last weekend, I texted Courtney about Peru and when we should go, she said still said January, because God's word is never wavering. Our friend is in the process of adopting two girls from the orphanage we lived at in Pacasmayo and she will have to go alone because the dates to pick them up were pushed back. To January. Immediately upon hearing this, I knew she was the reason God said January back on June 10. Conveniently, I was in Kansas City that weekend and called my parents to meet me downtown to discuss what this all looks like. My parents have been hesitant with all this. They want me to seek God's will, but don't want to be bad parents and send their youngest daughter with a weak heart all the way to a third-world country.
I sat in the backseat of their car and I said everything. I said January because God said January, I said I loved them and Galatians 6, but I am a bond servant to the Lord, I have to obey Him. My dad avoided eye contact and my mom said she's been praying about this, she's recruited all of the woman in her bible study to pray about this, she turned around and said to me, "Some of the women in my bible study have told me that your heart belongs to Peru right now. I know you're going in January."
People always tell me that they never hear from God so clearly, but my only response is this clarity is the most effective way God has been able to get through to me. We've tried other ways and I'm really good at talking my way out of them. Praying Ephesians 1:17-20 was a game-changer, but it has also been nothing shy of terrifying.
The doctor's say I'm not medically cleared, my expiration date has been made more real, but my confidence isn't found in medicine or overworking hearts. My hope is in God and my confidence is in His word.
"My circumstances won't rob You of Your adoration
They won't keep me in the boat
I will sprint towards Your hope
Because You are good
And tomorrow won't change that"
The Lord has been reminding me of words that I wrote a year ago. A year exactly. As I seek His guidance in this next stage of my life, I pray that those words I proclaimed, those words that are vows of our covenant remain to be glue of my faith and the proof of His provision.
