Lately I've been finding myself extremely impatient with God's timing. I keep trying to rush into things that I think I'm ready for, or move forward and search for something that I wouldn't be able to handle. Being a 17-year-old girl brings on its mundane troubles but nothing too earth shattering. I just want things God knows I'm not ready for, and most of the reason is because I don't have my priorities straight, I'm not putting God first and now realizing this reminds me of what my priorities need to be.
God should be first in every situation no matter what the circumstances-they're not kidding when they tell you that works, it really does. Being human means I want a lot of things, a lot of which I'm not spiritually nor mentally ready for. And I respect that and know that I need to continue putting God first He will tell me when I'm ready for His blessings. So I will continue to pray and I will remain faithful and I will not grow weary because I know He has me. I may not know what's next, but He does. And for now, that's good enough for me.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
too much life going on
First off, I just want to apologize for my summer mode. I did not forget about this thing! But I’ve had a lot on my mind. TPX is doing SNL for the summer fellowship and I’ve been able to hang out with the high school girls a lot more lately before my final year of high school starts. It’s good to hear from everyone and what they have to say about our last year and what they want their plans to be. I miss hearing from everyone and actually caring…anyways, I’ve been picking at people lately, trying to get their perspective on certain things involving God, church, people, and themselves and I’ve learned that there’s a lot more I have to pick up and help out. Most kids in high school are searching for something confident to follow but most high schoolers do a horrible job on demonstrating the power of their God because they let others tell them who they are. And everyone in TPX is, or has been, in that situation before, so why don’t we all discuss it? No one wants to man up and admit they’re scared or need help! Well, I need help; I need perspective. I would love for someone to keep me in check, so I’ll continue to strive for high school perspective and let you know how others view life and change.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
48 hours
In 11 hours I'll be at the Thurn's house packing for my 10 day journey.
In 52 hours I'll be at KCI for my very first plane ride.
In the 12 hours following I'll be up in the air... (barf).
And in the 10 days following I'll be in Peru.
All of the above will be firsts for me, not to mention the other firsts I'll be sure to encounter. There's going to be a lot of change in my life in the next two weeks, and to be completely honest, I'm not ready for most of them. I keep thinking of all the other things I need to be taking care of, but if I truly needed to take care of them God wouldn't have planned this trip. My mind's skewed and I don't know what I'm really supposed to be doing. I'm going to be missing our here, but wouldn't the likewise happen I didn't go to Peru? Ahh decisions, right? Coming from someone who's understatemently indecisive I hope all goes well.
In 52 hours I'll be at KCI for my very first plane ride.
In the 12 hours following I'll be up in the air... (barf).
And in the 10 days following I'll be in Peru.
All of the above will be firsts for me, not to mention the other firsts I'll be sure to encounter. There's going to be a lot of change in my life in the next two weeks, and to be completely honest, I'm not ready for most of them. I keep thinking of all the other things I need to be taking care of, but if I truly needed to take care of them God wouldn't have planned this trip. My mind's skewed and I don't know what I'm really supposed to be doing. I'm going to be missing our here, but wouldn't the likewise happen I didn't go to Peru? Ahh decisions, right? Coming from someone who's understatemently indecisive I hope all goes well.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
May 21, 2011
So as some of you may have heard, the world was supposed to end yesterday. If God's calling me to go, hypothetically I'd drop everything; who wouldn't, right? Well obviously the world didn't end...but it got me thinking, if May 21st were to have been my last day, I wasn't really ready. I have so much planned in my near future and so much to look forward to I just couldn't go yet.
What's wrong with that? From all that I've been told and all that I've heard Heaven's a pretty cool place-better than earth, that's for sure. So what prior engagements could I possibly have planned that could top eternity with Christ? I'm 17-years-old, my near future mostly surrounds around my next meal or Friday night. How am I preparing myself for eternity with Christ, what am I doing now to make this world a better place than before, who the heck am I?! And why haven't I asked God any of these questions... It seems like everytime I get so far I find myself back at the starting line.
What's wrong with that? From all that I've been told and all that I've heard Heaven's a pretty cool place-better than earth, that's for sure. So what prior engagements could I possibly have planned that could top eternity with Christ? I'm 17-years-old, my near future mostly surrounds around my next meal or Friday night. How am I preparing myself for eternity with Christ, what am I doing now to make this world a better place than before, who the heck am I?! And why haven't I asked God any of these questions... It seems like everytime I get so far I find myself back at the starting line.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
embrace the martian
Today in class one of my teachers read an article about one man's opinion on God. Like most people's nowadays his point-of-view was that God falsely ruled the universe. He said that he believed in enough things like family, love, good-nature, people, jell-o, yes, jell-o; that he didn't see the need to start believing in something that wasn't there. After she read the article she asked us our opinions on what the man had to say. Two students stated their 3 word answers: "he is awesome," "what an idiot". Although neither of these students had a strong relationship with God, one more obvious than the other, the rest of us 23 students were the silent majority that didn't want to put our religious business out there. Of those 23, I was one of them, and so were 3 other girls who go to my church.
I knew personally how I felt about our Creator but afterwards I realized I had missed an opportunity to let others know about the God I serve. I don't know; high school is all about standing out to fit in. Everyone is picking up the latest fashion trend, or the exact opposite one to remain avant-garde to the rest of us. A huge fashion trend is to be atheist. Some believe it, but how can you really tell? Once you say you're this or that you're immediately disconnected to all the other things that can't mix with you.
A friend of mine who is atheist was talking about how he hates how other atheists judge him because he hangs out with believers and those believers whose friends do the same thing. It sucks, this vicious circle we're all forced to be in just because society tells us to.
I believe in God for many reasons, I'm not one with needs to conform and Christians are so branded with what they have to be all I can ask for is to step out of the norm and live on with the people God's put infront of me, for however long that may be. I'll have to fit in because Christ's light will make me stand out.
People always complain about how their differences or ways of life cause them to be treated different. I ask you, TREAT ME DIFFERENT. Don't compare me to others, I'm not normal-not even counting that I'm a Christ Follower- I'm awkward!
All I hear about now is to embrace your differences and although those words usually pertain to something totally different, I'm going to do the same for me. So embrace your differences and be who GOD made you to be, not society.
I knew personally how I felt about our Creator but afterwards I realized I had missed an opportunity to let others know about the God I serve. I don't know; high school is all about standing out to fit in. Everyone is picking up the latest fashion trend, or the exact opposite one to remain avant-garde to the rest of us. A huge fashion trend is to be atheist. Some believe it, but how can you really tell? Once you say you're this or that you're immediately disconnected to all the other things that can't mix with you.
A friend of mine who is atheist was talking about how he hates how other atheists judge him because he hangs out with believers and those believers whose friends do the same thing. It sucks, this vicious circle we're all forced to be in just because society tells us to.
I believe in God for many reasons, I'm not one with needs to conform and Christians are so branded with what they have to be all I can ask for is to step out of the norm and live on with the people God's put infront of me, for however long that may be. I'll have to fit in because Christ's light will make me stand out.
People always complain about how their differences or ways of life cause them to be treated different. I ask you, TREAT ME DIFFERENT. Don't compare me to others, I'm not normal-not even counting that I'm a Christ Follower- I'm awkward!
All I hear about now is to embrace your differences and although those words usually pertain to something totally different, I'm going to do the same for me. So embrace your differences and be who GOD made you to be, not society.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
GOD IS ALIVE!
Ahh, Happy Easter :)
I love Easter; one of the times I'm able to see all of my family (which seems like every year there's more and more), homemade cooking and assurance of salvation. Man, today is hard to wrap my head around. At church, Joey always gives us the illustration that if you think you're big, go to the cemetery and raise someone from the dead. You can't. But God did! That's insane! I don't think we allow ourselves to dwell on the fact that Jesus Christ took on human form, He did not count equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking on the very form of a servant, being obedient to death, even death on a cross. I think we lose sight of the criteria it takes to be Christ. Sin-less, yet bearing all of our sin so that we might be the same. How reassuring, how holy. The Philippians passage I alluded to above goes on to say (2:8-11) Therefore God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above ever name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth AND under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is LORD, to the glory of God the Father.
Christ is risen! I cannot even fathom what it must have been like to be one of the Mary's to go to the tomb and for the corpse of Jesus to be gone. What?!
Last week at the silent retreat I prepared myself for Easter and read the end of each of the gospels about the crucifixion and resurrection. Mark 15:38 says "and the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom." Meaning-because of Christ's great love-there is no middle man. I don't need any lifeline to connect me to God or pass the word to Him of whatever I need to tell Him. He is mine and I am His.
My faith is based on this. I am to be the servant of Jesus Christ because of His great love which saved me. So count your blessings today and remember- to God be the glory.
I love Easter; one of the times I'm able to see all of my family (which seems like every year there's more and more), homemade cooking and assurance of salvation. Man, today is hard to wrap my head around. At church, Joey always gives us the illustration that if you think you're big, go to the cemetery and raise someone from the dead. You can't. But God did! That's insane! I don't think we allow ourselves to dwell on the fact that Jesus Christ took on human form, He did not count equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking on the very form of a servant, being obedient to death, even death on a cross. I think we lose sight of the criteria it takes to be Christ. Sin-less, yet bearing all of our sin so that we might be the same. How reassuring, how holy. The Philippians passage I alluded to above goes on to say (2:8-11) Therefore God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above ever name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth AND under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is LORD, to the glory of God the Father.
Christ is risen! I cannot even fathom what it must have been like to be one of the Mary's to go to the tomb and for the corpse of Jesus to be gone. What?!
Last week at the silent retreat I prepared myself for Easter and read the end of each of the gospels about the crucifixion and resurrection. Mark 15:38 says "and the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom." Meaning-because of Christ's great love-there is no middle man. I don't need any lifeline to connect me to God or pass the word to Him of whatever I need to tell Him. He is mine and I am His.
My faith is based on this. I am to be the servant of Jesus Christ because of His great love which saved me. So count your blessings today and remember- to God be the glory.
Monday, April 18, 2011
just a different view
This weekend I went on a silent retreat with flight training (my bible study). Seven and a half hours of silence talking to absolutely no one. Yes, it actually was as hard as you think. But I learned a lot. The time that I usually cloud with my own thoughts were consumed with what God wanted to tell me. But only when I was consciences in what He had to say.
The following is an excerpt from my journal while my time of solitude. Heads up: for those of you who don't know me very well, I'm sort of a cynical person... So bare with me if this may seem a little harsh. Just what I was shown over my solitude with Christ.
I'm seventeen-years-old and I already have the songs picked out that will play at my funeral. I don't know what color my prom dress is but I know A Thousand Miles will be on the soundtrack to tears on that day. I'm more focused on this world after my life than my life after this world. Where are my priorities? Am I really that important that once I die people are going to be concerned with me or think so highly of me that I need to plan out their sorrows for me? Of course, things are going to be different when I'm gone; that goes for everyone. But the only thing I need to worry about is: where will I be when I'm gone? I hear this every Sunday and at every Christ-shattering experience: "If you love God and you want Him to be in your life just say a prayer and tell Him, 'Jesus, I love you and I want you to be my savior,'" Give or take a few words and you just bought yourself salvation. That's great, don't get me wrong-not one day passes where I regret opening up that pocketing bible at Awanas and accepting Jesus as my Savior but no one ever told me when I opened my eyes and left that room the devil was going to be on my butt til the day I turn in my second life, whether that be at Heaven's gates or next winter. No one tells you that once the puppies and ice cream is all gone God's going to ask you to do away with some of you old ways. No one let's you know that it's not always going to be cool to walk with Christ. No one remembers that, that shoulder to lean on needs just as much loving, listening and leaning as you do. (I hate oxford commas). Too many people don't want to be saved from their sin they want to be saved from the punishment of their sin. Well, sorry, but there's not a Chipotle on every corner or dessert buffets with angel food cake. Heaven is filled with every one of God's exceeding expectations who realized the world was not worth it and unselfishly gave up themselves to pick up their own cross and Follow God. Because they were in love with HIM not what He had to offer.
It's easy for me to get angry with those who aren't doing what God wants them to. People can tell me, "Oh it's such an encouragement to see you grow." It is? Then show me. If you want what I have then let go of what's holding you back. If you really want to experience God's glory than put away the things of the past and do what He tells you to do. He might be telling me to not wear shoes for 3 weeks, and though that sounds like a dream come true to you, He might be telling you to sell all your clothes or break up with your boyfriend. Just because what Christ is doing in someone else's life may look glamorous doesn't always mean they didn't have to struggle to get there. When my grandmother passed away I didn't hear anyone telling me, "Man Alyssa, the only person you could ever relate to or depend on just died? Sweet dude, I wish I was you!" No, with that being said God took huge advantage of that oppritunity and I was able to grow a lot during that time. Everything worthwhile never comes easily. So don't tell me, "Gee, I wish God would speak to me the way He speaks to you." But then when you hear Him tell you loud and clear to take away the road blocks you turn the other cheek. DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE DROWNING IF YOU LIKE THE FEELING OF WATER IN YOUR LUNGS. I'm telling you, God speaks to me just like He does me, He just might be telling you something you don't want to hear. "So wash your hands you sinners and purify your hearts you double-minded." James 4:8
I've come to the realization that most high school kids are very, very shallow. I apologize for my pessimism :)
The following is an excerpt from my journal while my time of solitude. Heads up: for those of you who don't know me very well, I'm sort of a cynical person... So bare with me if this may seem a little harsh. Just what I was shown over my solitude with Christ.
I'm seventeen-years-old and I already have the songs picked out that will play at my funeral. I don't know what color my prom dress is but I know A Thousand Miles will be on the soundtrack to tears on that day. I'm more focused on this world after my life than my life after this world. Where are my priorities? Am I really that important that once I die people are going to be concerned with me or think so highly of me that I need to plan out their sorrows for me? Of course, things are going to be different when I'm gone; that goes for everyone. But the only thing I need to worry about is: where will I be when I'm gone? I hear this every Sunday and at every Christ-shattering experience: "If you love God and you want Him to be in your life just say a prayer and tell Him, 'Jesus, I love you and I want you to be my savior,'" Give or take a few words and you just bought yourself salvation. That's great, don't get me wrong-not one day passes where I regret opening up that pocketing bible at Awanas and accepting Jesus as my Savior but no one ever told me when I opened my eyes and left that room the devil was going to be on my butt til the day I turn in my second life, whether that be at Heaven's gates or next winter. No one tells you that once the puppies and ice cream is all gone God's going to ask you to do away with some of you old ways. No one let's you know that it's not always going to be cool to walk with Christ. No one remembers that, that shoulder to lean on needs just as much loving, listening and leaning as you do. (I hate oxford commas). Too many people don't want to be saved from their sin they want to be saved from the punishment of their sin. Well, sorry, but there's not a Chipotle on every corner or dessert buffets with angel food cake. Heaven is filled with every one of God's exceeding expectations who realized the world was not worth it and unselfishly gave up themselves to pick up their own cross and Follow God. Because they were in love with HIM not what He had to offer.
It's easy for me to get angry with those who aren't doing what God wants them to. People can tell me, "Oh it's such an encouragement to see you grow." It is? Then show me. If you want what I have then let go of what's holding you back. If you really want to experience God's glory than put away the things of the past and do what He tells you to do. He might be telling me to not wear shoes for 3 weeks, and though that sounds like a dream come true to you, He might be telling you to sell all your clothes or break up with your boyfriend. Just because what Christ is doing in someone else's life may look glamorous doesn't always mean they didn't have to struggle to get there. When my grandmother passed away I didn't hear anyone telling me, "Man Alyssa, the only person you could ever relate to or depend on just died? Sweet dude, I wish I was you!" No, with that being said God took huge advantage of that oppritunity and I was able to grow a lot during that time. Everything worthwhile never comes easily. So don't tell me, "Gee, I wish God would speak to me the way He speaks to you." But then when you hear Him tell you loud and clear to take away the road blocks you turn the other cheek. DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE DROWNING IF YOU LIKE THE FEELING OF WATER IN YOUR LUNGS. I'm telling you, God speaks to me just like He does me, He just might be telling you something you don't want to hear. "So wash your hands you sinners and purify your hearts you double-minded." James 4:8
I've come to the realization that most high school kids are very, very shallow. I apologize for my pessimism :)
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