What are you afraid of?

     I've been reading through Romans and I'd kind of been loathing it. The beginning is just a lot of big words and feels like Old Testament stuff (sorry, Amy V :)). I was struggling through chapters 2 and 3, but persevered because I knew there was a chapter 6 and 11 and 12, even better stuff later on. I prayed that God would make these passages alive to me and point out the things I needed to hear.
     I was answered almost too soon. Nothing makes me kick myself harder than when God answers my "quiet" prayers. You know, the prayers you kind of mumble under your breath because you're too much of a sissy to say loud enough for Him to actually hear you? The ones you want to grow up to be, but just not quite yet. Yeah, that was Romans for me.
     I'm in Romans 12 today. I was excited but also reluctant. I've read Romans 12, I've heard it spoken over, I have a chunk of it written on my wall. I've dissected it passed its point of understanding and was being Arrogant Alyssa. I assumed God had shown me everything there was to be written within those margins. Arrogant Alyssa is almost as bad as the Mumbling Alyssa from above and boy, are they two an awful combination.

    While reading Romans, chapters 1, 5, 6, and 10 really stuck out to me. During this season of my life, Romans 11:29 has rung in my ears:

For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

      Today, as I read through Romans 12, I was reminded to be a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. To be transformed by the renewal of my mind, that by testing I may discern what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God. For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. I read that we as members of the body of Christ have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them. For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. To let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

     Sometimes I think God will come into my comfort zone. Sometimes, I don't view God as a coach, but a really crappy running partner who agrees to go to dinner with me and just "talk" about running instead. Sometimes, I see the giftings He's woven perfectly into my circumstances, but sometimes, I'd rather teach my mother how to use online banking than jump into the middle of the street blindfolded into God's calling. For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

     So, what are you afraid of? What are you hiding from? Because the gifts and the calling God has for you are irrevocable. If we have chosen Him, He wants all of us and will relentlessly pursue our hearts. To bless us and mold us and create new within us. To be offered up as living sacrifices, to be transformed, to love genuinely. For we are His chosen priesthood. Don't flee from that.