"Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire." (James 3:1-5).
While discovering my spiritual gifts, James 3 has convicted me a lot. Exhortation is something God has woven into my identity. He has called me to urge and encourage people by the way I live, the way I speak goes under that as well. I don't think it's only important to those specifically gifted to exhort, but to all believers.
A couple weeks ago, I was around a group of teenage Christians, who spoke to one another that was in no way pure, lovely, just, worthy of praise, or honorable. They said things that offended me. Calling each other names like, fag, telling each other to go kill themselves or commenting on their skinny, anorexic body. Even passively condemning others on the other end by saying things like, "Are you really going to eat another piece of cake?"
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, let me say this loud and clear: you have no idea what kind battles people are facing. This is partly because we live in a culture that teaches us we shouldn't be vulnerable, because vulnerability shows weakness, and weakness is for girls, which also ticks me off, but I don't have enough time for that, too. You may not know someone's back story and even if you do that doesn't mean you should just avoid those topics when talking to them, you should steer clear of them with everyone. I have a friend who has a past with anorexia and I have felt the awkwardness from the what seems like harmless jokes other people make in her presence. Even when she's not around it makes me uncomfortable. Your words can not only hurt those around you, but they disrespect yourself. They show more of what you think of yourself than the rest of humanity. It does not only harden your heart, but it destroys your credibility as a follower of Christ. As Christians, do you not understand we have a higher calling? People don't hate Christ, they hate who we've made Him out to be. So, make your words and make your actions true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, worthy of praise. That's not an Alyssa Hicks Checklist, that's a Philippians 4:8 Checklist and I ask you to write that on your hearts and recognize, truly enlighten yourselves on the way you speak. Talking less of others isn't going to make you better, being negative won't change the way you see yourself, but it just may ruin how someone sees themselves.
If you're not living by Philippians 4:8, I'm not going to give you a 1-800 number to call, I'm simply going to challenge you to dig up the sin under the sin. Ask yourself why you speak the way you do, because you can be funny without crushing others in the process; trust me, I'm hilarious. What in your heart needs to be refined to make you fully satisfied in who Christ has created you to be? And with this, you'll gain wisdom. OMG, how ironic.
Which brings be to the second half of James 2, where it's all about the wisdom. Wisdom is to be proclaimed humbly and wisdom from above produces peace. Verses 17 and 18 state, "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." How are you pursuing God's wisdom? How can you pursue God's wisdom in your talk? Take a moment and allow yourself to be transformed, there's nothing special about averageness.
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