Speed Wobbles

This past Monday my friend and I took advantage of the beautiful weather and played some tennis in between classes. We had an hour to play because of our schedules, but realized we both only had one class on Tuesdays. Tuesday was just as beautiful as Monday, if not better. We brought our tennis rackets, our hackey sacks and our long boards and mapped out our day of fun, scheduling it perfectly to fit in all of our favorite hobbies equally. First was tennis and then long boarding followed by some hackey sack.
It should be stated that each of us get minorly obsessed with different activities and train ourselves to be the best until the next outdoor obsession comes along. Long boarding has been in the training stage for awhile now. On a trail in a park we were going down a hill when I hit speed wobbles and my long board started shaking back and forth because of how fast I was going. I knew I had to bail because of the sharp turn at the end of the hill but I didn't know how to go for it. I ended up just jumping straight off and planned I would just run it off but I was going to fast to keep up with the speed and ended up sliding in to the pavement like a baseball player would slide into home. I stood up to find my skin on the ground and blood running down my leg, ankles, palms and elbow. I walked it off and sent myself home to study for the bio test that was Wednesday.
After my bio test I had one more class, which I planned on skipping but decided not to. I should've skipped that class because I ended up passing out in the middle of it because I was in so much pain from my leg. My teacher made me go to the doctor on campus and there she told me I had bad road rash on my left leg and had pulled a ligament in my right hip. She prescribed me pain medication that would play a crucial role in my healing process.
Whenever I take my pain medication it doesn't take much after that to get me talking. I will talk about anything and even though I knew I was saying it all I couldn't really control how the words actually came out. I turned out to be more blunt than I usually was and more brave to say and do what I wanted because I was crippled and could just blame it on my limp leg or the medication.
But being stuck in a bed all week when you're not on those pain pills really gets you thinking, like shower thinking. "What will my husband look like?" "Will I age well?" "Do people in China Gangnam Style?" "Is this thing gonna scar?" "Why can't this just play out like I want it to? If not this, what does God want from me?"
There is a guy I see on my way to the class I fainted in that whom I only know by first name from years ago. He was in my small group at a TPX camp one year and he said something small but profound that has stuck with me ever since. His comment shaped my life and I told myself then, and multiple more times when I was in high school that if I ever got the opportunity, I would thank him for his encouragment. I haven't yet.
If God doesn't want me to date the boy in my English class or long board around campus, then what does He want from me? He wants me to tell the guy I see every Monday, Wednesday and Friday thank you for showing me one of my spiritual gifts. He wants me to allow the Holy Spirit be responsible for my word vomit rather than my pain pills (which aren't addictive so you guys don't have to worry about me, by the way). He wants me to stop pursuing the things He's put in my life and start pursuing Him. To allow Him to take the reigns and show me the next thing He has prepared for me.

Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, "This is the way you should go," whether it is to the right or to the left. (Isaiah 30:21 NLT)

But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls. (Hebrews 10:39)