Safety Net

     This is the spoken word I wrote and recited at church yesterday, the words were requested for me to post, so here they are. Here's a video from church with Olivia, because it doesn't sound nearly as good without her.
     I wrote this poem in a very hopeless place. After all I've---we've had to face lately, I had the option but to pursue His hope or cry on my own shoulder. I've done the latter and it's just not as
satisfying.

God, I don't know what You're doing
I don't understand Your plans
But I'm hurt, I'm broken and the only thing I have left to cling to is all I know
So as I cry awaiting Your reply you give me the choice: to sit in my misery or walk in Your light
So I fight

I fight for my joy, protect my hope, run towards Your love
Because I can't sit here like a sitting duck waiting for my luck to change
You gave me Your life so in return I'll give You mine

I'll face the fire with hope, knowing that not even in the furnace am I alone
My hope that knows You can save me and my hope that's content if You don't
My hope that isn't in my excuses or the voices of the anonymous
My hope that is in You, the only One who keeps all His promises
So I'll pursue Your hope, because nothing satisfies more than the joy I've fought for
Because the hope that I pursue isn't the desire that You'll pull through
My hope in You is surer than the sun will rise
It's clearer than the morning sky
It's brought forth in my darkest moments

Because I know the promise that has occurred and is yet to come
The promise that came and conquered the chains
That held my hand when I couldn't stand
The promise that brings my soul to rest
the promise that had me on His mind when He breathed His last breath
So all of my life in every season
You are still God I have a reason to sing
God, I have a reason to worship

I will bring praise, I will rejoice, I will declare
Because God You are my victory, God You are here

So I'll go where You take me
I'll sit where You tell me
I'll dwell in Your existence
For You have me and that's enough

So I give thanks to You for the dirt
I thank You for the new creations
I thank You for the hurt
Because my circumstances won't rob You of Your adoration
They won't keep me in the boat
I will sprint towards Your hope
Because You are good
And tomorrow won't change that

This is a link to The Desert Song by Hillsong, which is the bridge and chorus that Olivia sings over me. A great song and one definitely worth checking out :)