If Grace is an Ocean

     I feel like I talk about grace a lot, but I think that's because it's one of God's aspects I don't fully understand.
      This weekend was rough. It all unraveled last night, so let me give you the timeline of this so you can even more clearly see the promises of faith.
•6:30 went on a drive with my friend and sister in Christ and I opened up to her about what poor excuse I am of a disciple of Christ. 
•7:00 came back home to sulk in my misery, while I allowed the enemy feed me lies. 
•7:15 sat down with my computer and wrote four stanzas that came from my hurt, my purpose and my faith
•7:34 sent Olivia an email of those stanzas, a debrief of where they came from and a hope that it was useful material for her to put to music and make a song of. 
•7:36 continued to sulk in my misery, now debriefing to a roommate of my worthless existence. 
•8:00 God started moving
     My 8:00 time slot was mostly flooded with my roommate talking me into God's grace for the next hour or so. As I read to her some of my spoken word poetry and lyrics I had sent Olivia, she told me that's how God uses me, but even while I was still reluctant, I knew she was speaking some truth. 
•9:17 a friend came over to hang out.
•9:29 Olivia called me. "Hey, I have the layout the way I want it. Let me play you what I've gotten so far."
     For the next 40 minutes Olivia and I were able to talk about God's molding in our lives. How we've changed because of Him and how we can lift one another up in prayer and praise.
•10:08 came back to the living room and read some of my spoken word to our guest who had come over. I can't even tell you why I did it, but I could see in her eyes it's exactly what I was supposed to be doing. He was reminding me that He wants me, that He fought for me.
      Every single day, God drenches me with His grace and every single day I fail him. I'm a sinful, jacked up, useless excuse of a human being, but that's the thing. God uses that, He wants that. He refines us by His fire, He molds is into a new creation and because of His grace even sinful, jacked up, useless excuses like me can be used for everlasting work!
      I still don't fully understand God's grace and know that I never truly will. I just know I can't be so focused about what the devil is doing to manipulate me than what God's doing to get my attention. For we are not those who shrink back and are destroyed. God wants us as we are right now.