Big Blind

Last weekend, I learned how to play poker. I want to apologize ahead of time to all ladies, for I exemplified every reason women should not be allowed to play poker. I talked, asked too many questions, I was nosey. But why should I just throw away my cards? What's everyone else's hand? How can he just win that without showing us his cards, what if mine were higher or whatever? For lent I gave up participating in gossip, I didn't think it was that big of a problem but I am a girl so I knew there was always room for improvement. In the beginning, I had a hard time defining what was actually gossip and what was just conversation. I lived by Colossians 3:17 and  2 Timothy 2:16. I tried to justify my story telling and listening or caught myself stopping in mid-sentence, realizing this wasn't honoring to God. It sucked, but I found myself talking to God more and I guess that's the whole point of fasting from things, so it served its purpose. In Texas HoldEm you're given two cards, from the beginning you bet whether your cards are better than your competitors, once everyone has bet you turn over 3 cards the first round, and then one and one more the next rounds trying to make the most out of the two cards in your hand and 3 other cards on the table. The problem is, you don't know anyone else's hand. You only know the hand you were dealt. As each round went, my curiosity grew and I wondered what cards they were dealt. Sometimes they tell you, out of bribery or carelessness, and sometimes they don't. Sometimes they just don't tell you and you'll never know what was going on on the other end. God asked me to do something earlier this year that was totally out of my comfort zone and, like gossiping, I tried to justify my not doing it. I tweaked his question and talked myself out of it a million and two times, I talked to all of my closest friends about it and all of them agreed that God's reasoning for me to do it was greater than any make believe reason I could think of not to do it. I've mentioned before the guy from tpx camp who goes to MSU as well, God wanted me to tell him that he impacted my walk 4 years ago and how. After months of chickening out, today I did it. I had so many fears of what might be his response but I reminded myself that God does not give us a spirit of timidity. Most of the time he looked at me like I was crazy but I knew if it seems I'm crazy it is to bring glory to God. At the end of our conversation all I wanted to do is ask to see his hand. What cards were he dealt? Why is God asking me to go all in? I don't know, may not ever know. I'm just one domino that allowed God create whatever chain reaction is in store. I did what He wanted me to do and even though it may drive me crazy not knowing His will and having blind faith, it's a bet I'm willing to take any day.