Puzzle pieces

     Everyday I'm reminded of different tragedies being faced here at school. Whether I'm being reminded of them by school faculty or seeing a clever poster around campus I am constantly reminded that everyone is experiencing, going through, something.
     Last night I played Never Have I Ever with some girls from my floor. The concept of the game is for everyone to start out with 10 fingers up and then each person goes around the room announcing something that they have never done and if you have done it you put a finger down. Whoever has any fingers left at the end wins. Of course people got just a little racy and I learned some things that I could have gone my whole life without knowing but luckily the confessions weren't anything too gut wrenching. One girl I met on my floor Grace has been a person I've been hanging out with lately. I didn't learn until last night that never has she ever owned a bible, she's agnostic. Most of the people put a finger down and complained about how that was cheating since they went to private schools or were raised catholic but I just silently put down a finger and sort of reflected on the signs I've seen Grace display that said she wasn't a Christian. Only her sailor's mouth came to mind, yet I can name lots of Christians who can't seem to, or choose not to, control their language. I became anxious to learn about how she got to this point and why. If you believe in nothing, that's still a belief and a hopeless one at that. As I was the only one not to complain about owning a bible I felt the eyes on me of people wondering why I wasn't upset about it. I ignored the pressure of the staring and carried on.
     Now, tonight at Cru we talked about how everything happens for a reason, how where we are right now is where God needs us if we're believers and if we're not He's placed nonbelievers in a place to find Him. God put Grace in the room across the hall for me to share His love with her, in any way.
     I've spent the majority of my time here at college waiting on some huge revelation from God to show me in some burning bush way what Holy Land He wants me to takea mass of His people or what illness I need to cure miraculously and I've forgot the little details. I've forgotten about the Grace's across the hall. I've gotten wrapped up in the thought of my riches in Heaven I was comparing myself to others rather than knowing God has me where He wants me and will move me when needed.
     I had a a friend freshman year who went to South that I really got to know at the Freshman Center who was a believer, but not quite a follower. We all knew each other went to church but never talked about it. The summer before sophomore year he was going through my iPod and saw Mighty To Save. It was a song that really shaped his life earlier that summer when God spoke to him. I remember being on Dakota Downey's trampoline at the dusk of a summer week night with Connor having his headphones in singing along to, "Shine your light and let the whole world see, we're singing for the glory of the risen King, my Jesus," with the biggest, most sincere smile of pure joy I had ever seen on Connor's face. Some people there laughed at him because they felt awkward about Connor so openly praising God but I remember how relieved I was knowing that God had finally spoken to him and almost guilty for not being the one who got him there. Luckily, God spoke to Connor, thankfully God got in his heart that summer and such a close friend of mine's salvation, or lack their of, didn't lie on my shoulders. But knowing that Grace doesn't know God kills me. Maybe it worked out with Connor, thankfully my out of tuneness with the Holy Spirit didn't ruin Connor's chances of eternal life, but now I know that Grace doesn't have God. Luckily, thankfully, for Connor God was able to find him without my help and I was still able to see the growth in him, but I don't want to be leaving Springfield in May finding out Grace is still living a blind-folded life lost in the world when I had all the equipment to lead her to Christ. Even on Grace's best day it doesn't even compare to my worst day with God. It sucks for all of those people who think they're enjoying life but they don't even know! Who will tell them if not for me? Maybe God wants me to lead a mass of his people to some Holy Land, maybe I am supposed to miraculously cure an illness. Or maybe Grace is, and maybe my part in that big picture story is being the one who leads her into salvation.